The Second Worst Anarchist Website in the UK

Mormons (aka The Church of Latter Day Saints)

They own Salt Lake City, have millions of members and were founded by a right odd ball, a Mr Joseph Smith, in the nineteenth century.

As a teenager Joe admitted in court that he had been telling people he got visions from a crystal ball on where to find buried treasure. By the 1840s this Mystic Meg preacher managed to found a new Christian based religion by ‘miraculously’ finding some buried gold plates - with a new gospel on it from god.

With help from an angel called Moroni (honestly - Moron I, someone has a sense of humour!) he wrote the book of Mor(m)on. This included passages that seemed to be from someone elses unpublished novel - a point since proved conclusively by writing experts in the 1970s. This book includes the idea that american indians were stained red due to sin and could turn white by changing gods.

Joe also pretended to be able to know all sorts of languages. This is a bit of a problem, as he did things like make up names such as ‘Nauvoo’ as Hebrew for ‘beautiful plantation’ when the word doesn’t actually exist. The biggest killer though is that he reckoned he could read and write in Egyptian, including translating Egyptian Papyri into his Book of Abraham. Unfortunately for him this was before the Rosetta stone was found.

Until the Rosetta stone no-one could decipher the hieroglyphs and so his guess was as good as any ones. But once it was discovered, with its matching statements in Greek and Roman, it was obvious his ‘inspired’ Egyptian translations were bollocks. He was even suckered into translating fake hieroglyphs by sceptics and fell for it hook, line and sinker.

This self-styled prophet of god also set up a bank issuing special Mormon money backed up by strong boxes full of silver coins. Later his accountant admitted the boxes were mostly sand and bolts, topped with a thin layer of coins - hmmm nice cooking.

As well as Salt Lake City and being 2nd only to Jehovah's Witness’ as door knockers they are probably mostly known for their early polygamy. Although they denied it at the time this Mormon preacher and his elders managed to convince young girls into polygamy saying; ‘god commanded it’, ‘that they could be married tonight and their parents needn’t know’, that if they didn’t ‘abide’ they would be destroyed by the Lord.

Now I know blokes will say anything to get in your pants but that really is taking it a bit far.

Despite all this and early Mormons banding together to out Joseph Smith because of his tyranny and land speculating, as well as the polygamy, it still has millions of members, religion hey - there’s just no telling some folk.